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Punpedia
The Online Encyclopedia of Puns

Welcome to the Punpedia entry on vegetable puns, salad puns and related topics! 🍅🍆🌽🍄 Whether you’re looking for a name for your veggie patch, in a veg pun battle with your friend, trying to come up with some cute vegetable pickup lines, or just want to stock up on some vegetable word play for future use, I hope this entry serves you well.

As well as covering leafy vegetables (lettuce, cabbage, kale), roots, legumes and other vegetable-like foods are covered too, so you’ll see some potato puns, corn puns, onion puns, pumpkin puns, and all sorts of others based around those general topics.

You might also like to visit the Punpedia entries on food puns, fruit puns, cooking puns, corn puns and potato puns.

Vegetable Puns List

Each item in this list describes a pun, or a set of veggie puns which can be made by applying a rule. If you know of any puns about vegetables that we’re missing, please let us know in the comments at the end of this page!

  • Call → Kale: As in “Above and beyond the kale of duty.” and “His authenticity was kaled into question.” and “Kale it quits.” and “Kale the shots.” and “Kale of the wild.” and “Kale to action.” and “A judgement kale.” and “That was a close kale.” and “Wake-up kale“.
  • Gale → Kale: As in “It’s blowing a kale out here!” and “I slept well despite the howling kales outside.”
  • Keel → Kale: As in “Keep an even kale.” and “A yacht’s kale keeps it upright.”
  • Solid → Salad: As in “Salad gold.” and “As salad as rock.” and “Rock salad.” and “Make sure you’ve built a salad foundation.”
  • Sullied → Salad: To be “sullied” is to be defiled, tainted, stained or spoiled. Example: “The politician’s good name was salad by the media after the allegations were confirmed.” This one’s is a bit of a stretch!
  • Salah → Salad: The term “salah” describes the act of worship (5 times a day) in the Islamic religion. Example: “Salad is recommended 5 times a day.”
  • Salary → Celery: As in “I didn’t take the job. The celery was too low.”
  • Leak → Leek: As in “The information was leeked and a huge media storm erupted.” and “I’m just going to take a leek.” and “Be careful with that shopping bag! There’s a leek in it.” and “The dam sprung a leek.”
  • Leg → Leek: As in “It cost me an arm and a leek.” and “Shake a leek!” and “Without a leek to stand on” and “Haha just pulling your leek :)”
  • Lick → Leek: As in “Leek your lips.” and “Stand up for yourself. Don’t leek his boots.” and “Leek your wounds.”
  • Parcel → Parsley: As in “Let’s play pass the parsley!”
  • Leg room → Legume: As in “I always pay a little extra for the aeroplane seats with more legume.”
  • Choke → Artichoke: This is a corny one: “I almost artichoked on my food when she told me.” and “She was artichoked by emotion as she gave her speech at the funeral.”
  • Bumpkin → Pumpkin: As in “I’m a bit of a country pumpkin, but I’m getting used to the city.”
  • Heard → Herb: As in “I herb it on the grape vine.” and “You herb it here first.” and “You could have herb a pin drop.”
  • Curb → Herb: As in “Herb your enthusiasm.” and “Drive up onto the herb.”
  • *erb* → *herb*: If a word contains the “herb” sound (or similar) a cringe-worthy herb pun can sometimes be made: advherb, distherbance, distherbingly, exacherbate, aftherburner, countherbalance, hypherbole, knickherbockers, mastherbate, nonvherbal, refherbishment, rivherbank, herbanization, vherbalize.
  • Plant: This can also mean “place in a fixed or specified position”, and “a place where an industrial or manufacturing process takes place”. Examples: “She planted herself squarely in front of him” and “The new automobile manufacturing plant is the biggest in the country.”
  • Planned → Plant: As in “I had plant to get there by 8pm” and “Do you have anything plant?”
  • Bland → Plant: As in “The hospital food was flavourless and plant as usual.” and “He gave a weak, plant smile.” and “It tastes a little plant. More herbs?”
  • Let us → Lettuce: As in “Lettuce eat!” and “Lettuce celebrate!”
  • Led us → Lettuce: As in “You’ve lettuce down the wrong path!” and “But it lettuce to the wrong conclusion.”
  • It’s/Its → Oat’s/Oats: As in “Oat’s about time!” and “Look at oats cute little face!”
  • Maze → Maize: As in “It’s a complicated maize to navigate.”
  • Mace → Maize: Another term for “pepper spray” is “mace”. It can also refer to a medieval spiked club weapon.
  •  Amazing→ Amaizing: As in “Truely amaizing.” and “Amaizing Grace.” and “I’m amaized!” and “To my utter amaizement …” (Maize is another name for corn)
  • *mise → *maize: As in, minimaize (minimise), surmaize (surmise), victimaize (victimise), compromaize (compromise), customaize (customise), maximaize (maximise).
  • Baggage → Cabbage: This one is lovely and corny: “I’m carrying around a lot of emotional cabbage.” or “Please place personal items in the overhead cabbage compartment.”
  • Until → Lentil: As in “It ain’t over lentil it’s over!” and “It’s all fun and games lentil someone gets hurt.”
  • Care at → Carrot: As in “I don’t carrot all.”
  • Not re-enter → Nutrient-er: As in “You should nutrient-er the discussion after that terrible contribution.”
  • Beat → Beet: As in “Let’s not beet around the bush.” and “If you leave now, you’ll beet the rush.” and “Can you hear my heartbeet?” and “You deserve a beeting for that.” and “Damn, these are some fine beets you’re playing!” and “There’s always deadbeets hanging around that park at night.” and “He’s not crazy – just a little offbeet.” and “We pride ourselves in our unbeetable service.” and “I’m feeling fairly upbeet today :)” and “Diabeetes is a pun, but it’s insensitive.”
  • Between → Beetween: As in “Beetween you and me …” and “With your tail beetween your legs.” and “Read beetween the lines.” and “Beetween a rock and a hard place.”
  • Bead → Beet: As in “Tiny round beets are dangerous for children.”
  • Repeat → Rebeet: As in “I’m not going to rebeet myself.” and “Those who do not learn from history are doomed to rebeet it.” and “I warned him rebeetedly.”
  • Pizza → Beet-za: As in “I always buy my beetzas from the same beetzaria.”
  • *pit* → *beet*: If a word contains the “pit” sound, a terrible beet pun can sometimes be made: cabeetal city, hosbeetalisation, palbeetations, abeetizing, precibeetation, serendibeetous, inhosbeetable.
  • Pete → Beet: As in “His name is beet.”
  • Peed → Beet: This one is a stretch: “I laughed so hard I nearly beet my pants.”
  • Corny: As in “Very corny vegetable puns”
  • Con* → Corn*: Very corny corn puns can be made with some words that start with the “con” sound (or similar): corntract, corncern, corntain, cornference, corntext, corncerned, corntrast, cornfidence, corndition, corntinue, cornsider, corntry, cornclusion, cornduct, cornversation, cornstruction, cornflict, corntribution, cornsent, cornsist, cornclude, cornservation, corntest, cornception, cornsequences, corsult, corncert, cornventional, corncrete, corntinent, cornfine, cornsistantly, cornstitutional, cornvey, cornsiderably, cornsitituent, corntempt, corncede, cornfess, cornfrontation, corngregation, corntroversial, cornsensus, cornsultancy, cornquest, cornvicted, corngratulate. See this list for more.
  • Have a car though → Avocado: As in “I don’t ‘avocado.”
  • Her before → Herbivore: As in “I met herbivore at the gym.”
  • Turn up → Turnip: As in “Turnip the music!” and “It’ll turnip somewhere.”
  • Been → Bean: As in “We’ve all bean there.” and “You know, I’ve bean thinking…” and “Bean there, done that.” and “He’s a has-bean.” and “The die has bean cast.” and “I’ve bean had.” and “She’s bean in the wars lately.”
  • Unbeknown(st) →Unbeanown(st): As in “Unbeanownst to me, she made some enquiries.”
  • *peen* →*bean*: If a word contains the “peen” sound we can make some silly bean puns: Phillibeano (Phillipino), beanalize (penalize), unhappbeaness (unhappiness), subbeana (subpoena). Note: a subpoena is a witness summon.
  • Enough →Beanough: As in “Beanough is beanough.” and “Beanough to make you sick.”
  • Enormous →Beanormous: As in “Your vegetable garden is beanormous!”
  • Beam → Bean: As in “Bean me up, Scotty!” and “Tractor bean.” and “Balancing bean.”
  • Bin → Bean: As in “It was in the bargain bean – 30% off!” and “Please put your rubbish in the bean.”
  • Pin → Bean: This one’s a bit of a stretch. Examples: “Bean the tail on the donkey.”
  • Deal → Dill: As in “What’s the big dill?” and “I’m kind of a big dill around here.” (“Dill” is a herb, and is often short for dill-pickle – a cucumber that has been preserved and given the flavour of the dill herb)
  • Pickle: “We’re in a bit of a pickle here.”
  • Much room → Mushroom: “It’s only a little elevator, there isn’t mushroom in here.”
  • Wheat: As in, “Separate the wheat from the chaff.” Note: to separate the wheat from the chaff is to separate the valuable from the worthless.
  • Wait → Wheat: As in “Wheat a second…” and “I am lying in wheat.”
  • White → Wheat: As in, “A wheater shade of pale,” and “A wheat knight,” and “Wheat as a ghost,” and “Wheat as a sheet,” and “Great wheat shark,” and “Like wheat on rice,” and “Little wheat lie,” and “Men in wheat coats,” and “Not everything is black and wheat,” and “Wheat water rafting.” Note: like white on rice refers to a very close situation.
  • Sweet → Swheat: As in, “Home swheat home,” and “Swheat dreams,” and “Swheat nothings,” and “A swheat tooth,” and “Swheaten the pot,” and “Swheaten the deal,” and “Swheatheart,” and “Take the bitter with the swheat,” and “Short but swheat.”
  • Sweat → Swheat: As in, “Blood, swheat and tears,” and “Beads of swheat,” and “Break out in a cold swheat,” and “Don’t swheat it,” and “Running with swheat,” and “My new swheater,” and “Swheating bullets,” and “Swheat it out.”
  • Weight → Wheat: As in, “Pull your wheat,” and “Punching above your wheat,” and “Throw your wheat around,” and “Watch your wheat,” and “A wheat off my mind,” and “Worth your wheat in gold,” and “A dead wheat.”
  • *ate* → *wheat*: As in, evacu-wheat (evacuate), fluctu-wheat (fluctuate), and gradu-wheat (graduate).
  • What → Wheat: As in “Wheatever, man.” and “Wheat are you up to today?”
  • We t* → Wheat: As in “Wheat talked about this last night.” and “Wheat took our time.”
  • We’d → Wheat: As in “Wheat love for you to join us!”
  • Please → Peas: As in “Do as you peas.” and “Pretty peas?”
  • Pee → Pea: As in “Brb, really need to pea.”
  • Peace → Peas: As in “World peas.” and “Inner peas” and “Peas of mind” and “Rest in peas.” and “War and Peas” and “Keep the peas” and “Peas be with you”
  • Piece → Peas: As in “Peas by peas” and “Peas of mind” and “Peas of cake” and “Real peas of work” and “Peas of pie” and “Real peas of work” and “Speak your peas” and “How long is a peas of string?”
  • *peas*: There are a few words with the “peas” sound in them: centerpeas (centerpiece), earpeas (earpiece), Greenpeas (Greenpeace), masterpeas (masterpiece), mouthpeas (mouthpiece), peasfully, peaskeepers, peastime, Peasa (Pisa), timepeas (timepiece).
  • *pea*: If a word contains the “pea” sound, you can make a terrible pea pun by adjusting the spelling and emphasising the “pea” part: appealing, appease, bumpea (bumpy), centipeade, champeaon, champeaonship, compeate, copearight (copyright), creepea (creepy), dopea (dopey), encyclopeadia, entropea, escapea, espeaonage, Ethiopean, Europeaan, expeadient, frumpea, grumpea, hippea, happea, happeaest, homosapean, impead, loudspeaker, peacock, peafowl, peak, peadiatric, peanalize, philipeano, peano (piano), peaqued, recipeas, recipeantsmrepeal, repeat, scorpeaon, speacies, peaple (people), speach, speaker, speachless, therapea.
  • Snap a piece → Snap a peas: This plays on “snap peas” – a very common type of pea: “Can you snap a peas off for me peas (please)?”
  • Remain → Romaine: “Romaine” is a type of lettuce. Examples: “Everyone romaine calm.” and “It romaines to be seen.”
  • To my toes → Tomatoes: As in “I got a shiver from my head tomatoes.”
  • Tomorrow → Tomato: As in “Here today, gone tomato.”
  • Tube of → Tuber: As in “Can I please purchase a tuber hand cream?”
  • All up in your → Jalapeño: As in “Jalapeño business.” and “Jalapeño grill.”
  • Serial → Cereal: As in “There’s a cereal killer on the loose.”
  • Surreal → Cereal: As in “The view from the summit was cereal.” and “I love impressionism and cereal art.”
  • Grain: As in “I’m going to go against the grain here and say …” and “There’s a grain of truth in what he’s saying.” and “I’d take it with a grain of salt.”
  • Grainy: Other than referring to grain (the crop food, of course), this can refer to a texture or to a low resolution photograph: “Your profile picture is a bit grainy.”
  • Ingrained: As in “It was ingrained in me from a young age.”
  • Again → A grain: As in “Come a grain?” and “Never a grain.” and “Time and time a grain.” and “Now and a grain.”
  • Rain → Grain: As in, “Right as grain,” and “Chasing grainbows,” and “Come grain or shine,” and “Grain on my parade,” and “Make it grain,” and “Graindrops keep falling on my head,” and “Graining cats and dogs,” and “Singin’ in the grain,” and “Somewhere over the grainbow,” and “Spitting with grain.” Notes: to chase rainbows is to go after unrealistic things. To rain on someone’s parade is to ruin a happy moment for them.
  • Grey → Grain: As in, “Fifty shades of grain,” and “A grain area,” and “Grain is the new black,” and “Grain matter,” and “Shades of grain.” Note: shades of grey refers to the complexity of a situation.
  • Brain → Grain: As in, “All brawn and no grains,” and “Beat your grains out,” and “Grain dead,” and “Grain fart,” and “Grain teaser,” and “Grain wave,” and “Grainstorming session,” and “Got it on the grain,” and “Hare grained,” and “A no-grainer,” and “Pick your grains,” and “Rack your grains,” and “It’s not grain surgery.”
  • Grind → Grain-d: As in, “Bump and grain-d,” and “Daily grain-d,” and “Grain-d down,” and “Grain-d to a halt,” and “Nose to the grain-dstone,” and “Don’t like the bastards grain-d you down.” Note: to have your nose to the grindstone is to work hard.
  • Gain → Grain: As in, “Capital grains,” and “Grain an advantage,” and “Ill-gotten grains,” and “No pain, no grain,” and “Nothing ventured, nothing grained.” Note: a capital gain is a profit from the sale of a capital asset (like stock or real estate).
  • *gain* → *grain*: As in, “Agrainst all odds,” and “Agrainst the clock,” and “Bar-grain basement,” and “Come a-grain?” and “A fool’s bar-grain,” and “Here we go a-grain,” and “More than you bar-grained for,” and “Now and a-grain,” and “A race agrainst time,” and “You can say that a-grain,” and “Back agrainst the wall.”
  • *ray* → *grain*: Change the “ray” sound in some words to “grain”: grain-ciously (graciously), engrainve (engrave), grain-dation (gradation), grain-dient (gradient), immi-grain-tion (immigration), ingrain-dient (ingredient).
  • I love → Olive: As in “Olive you so much!” and “Olive silly food puns!”
  • Or live → Olive: As in “Live like a king olive on a shoe string.”.
  • All of → Olive: As in “Sending olive my love to your family.”
  • Time → Thyme: As in “All in good thyme.” and “Better luck next thyme.” and “We just need to buy some thyme.”
  • Platter → Plait her: “I love to platter hair – it’s therapeutic.”
  • Dip: As in “Take a dip” and “Dip your toe in.” (Playing on the “crackers and dip” form of “dip”)
  • I am → I yam: As in “I yam who I yam.”
  • Yankee → Yamkee: As in “The Newyork Yamkees are up 3 points!”
  • Mint: “All of the items are mint condition.”
  • Mean’t → Mint: As in “We were just mint to be.” and “You weren’t mint to eat it!”
  • *ment → *mint: Words that end in “ment” can be simple cheesy “mint” puns: governmint, developmint, momint, managemint, departmint, agreemint, environmint, investmint, employmint, equiptmint, commint, assessmint, requiremint, improvemint, appointmint, settlemint, experimint, establishmint, implemint, announcemint, punishmint, measuremint, dissapointmint, advertisemint, encouragemint, embarrassmint, segmint, argumint, pigmint, tormint, paymint, ornamint, sedamint, vehemint, shipmint, treatmint, statemint, merrimint. See this list for more.
  • Clothes → Cloves: As in “I’m only half-cloved” and “The emperor’s new cloves.”
  • Love → Clove: As in “I clove you so much!” and “Clove is in the air.”
  • Garret → Carrot: A “garret” is an attic, loft or roof space.
  • Root: As in “I’m rooting for you!” and “Money is the root of all evil.” (The term “root” is also a synonym for sexual intercourse in some countries/regions)
  • Rude → Root: As in “A root awakening.” and “He has no manners – very root.”
  • Green: This can obviously refer to the colour, but it can also refer to someone who is inexperienced or naive: “A green recruit fresh from college.”
  • Funnel → Fennel: “Fennel” is a herb. Example: “They were all fenneled into the same career by the specialist college.”
  • Final → Fennel: As in “It’s the fennel count down.” and “You have the fennel say.” and “It’s my fennel offer.”
  • Squash: As in “Don’t squash the poor bug!” and “We need to squash the competition.”
  • Roo bar → Rhubarb: In Australia a car’s “bullbar” is often called a “roo bar” (“roo” is short for “kangaroo”).
  • Saw → Seed: The past tense form of “see” is of course “saw”, but we can be make a silly seed pun if we “conjugate” “see” like we normally do with regular verbs: “seed”. Examples:  “I came, I seed, I conquered.”
  • Seedy: This is a describing word for someone or something that is morally questionable, foul, or dirty. Examples: “So many seedy people hanging around that place.”
  • Seed: As in “But it planted a seed of hope.” and “We got more seed capital from investors.”
  • Properly → Broccoli: This one’s a stretch! Example: “If you’re going to do it at all, you might as well do it broccoli.”
  • Leave → Leaf: As in “Absent without leaf.” and “Leaf no stone unturned” and “Leaf your options open.” and “Love them and leaf them.” and “That’s going to leaf a mark!” and “I’m leafing tomorrow morning.”
  • Love → Leaf: As in “I leaf you so much!” and “Leaf is in the air.”
  • Laugh → Leaf: As in “Leaf all the way to the bank.” and “Leaf in your face.” and “Leaf your head off.”
  • Leaves: As in “She leaves without a trace.”
  • So → Soy: This simple soy pun works best if the word after “so” begins with a “y”, but it still works without it. Examples: “Soy you think you can dance?” and “It’s soy sad.” and “There’s only soy much you can do.”
  • Say → Soy: As in “What did you just soy?” and “To have the final soy.” and “Needless to soy, …” and “Never soy never.”
  • Soil → Soyl: As in “That tofu pun was hilarious – I almost soyled my pants.” and “Fertile soyl.”
  • *soy*: Other words containing the “soy” sound can also be soy puns: ellipsoyd (ellipsoid), sinusoydally (sinusoidally).
  • So you been → Soya bean: As in “Soya bean up to much lately?”
  • Corn → Can: As in “Corn’t we all just get along?” and “Appearances corn be deceptive.” and “Bit off more than you corn chew.” and “Corn you believe it?” and “You corn count on me.”
  • Gone → Corn: As in “Here today, corn tomorrow.” and “It’s all corn pear-shaped.” and “Corn, but not forgotten.”
  • Pulse: This term can refer to a couple of different things. First, the pulse of your veins caused by your heart-beat, or more generally, any short burst or vibration (e.g. of sound, electricity, etc.). Second, it is a synonym of “legume” which refers to produce like chickpeas, lentils, and beans.
  • But any → Botany: As in “You expect me to be impressed, botany body can do that.”
  • Culture → Agriculture: A very corny one: “I was feeling homesick and experiencing agriculture shock.”
  • Too bad → Tuberd: As in “You want some? Tuberd, it’s all mine.” and “Tuberd the shoes don’t fit you.”
  • *uber*: Words that contain the “uber” sound (or similar) can sometimes be potato puns: extuberant (exuberant), tuberis (hubris), protuberances, tuberty (puberty).
  • Guarding → Garden: As in “A soldier was garden the entry.” and “The manager was always garden his reputation by blaming others.”
  • Esteemed → E-steamed: As in “Many of these qualities are e-steamed by managers.” and “Contemporary Japanese ceramics are highly e-steamed.”
  • Raw: As in “That was a raw deal.” (a bad deal)
  • Brussels: It’s the name of a region in Belgium, but is also well known as part of the phrase “Brussels sprout” which is a well known vegetable which likely originated there.
  • She weed→ Seaweed: As in “I just got a new pet rabbit and seaweed on my carpet.”
  • Produce: When the emphasis is on the “prod” part of this word, it refers to things that have been grown on a farm. You might be able to make vegetable puns with this in the right context.
  • Crop: As in “If you crop the photo it’ll look better.” and “The cream of the crop.” and “I always ask the hairdresser for a crop.”
  • Crop up: To “crop up” means to appear unexpectedly and/or suddenly, and thus could be a pun on “crop” which is a cultivated grain, fruit or vegetable.
  • Crap → Crop: As in, “A load of crop,” and “Bunch of crop,” and “Cut the crop,” and “The cropper,” and “Full of crop,” and “Do bears crop in the woods?” and “Don’t crop where you eat,” and “A piece of crop,” and “You scared the crop out of me.”
  • Scrap* → S-crop*: As in, “S-crop iron,” and “Bow and s-crope,” and “S-crope along,” and “S-crope the bottom of the barrel,” and “S-crope through,” and “S-crope together,” and “Table s-crops.”
  • Cop → Crop: As in, “Crop an attitude,” and “Crop out,” and “Crop shop,” and “It’s a fair crop,” and “Undercover crop,” and “Crop onto something,” and “A dirty crop.” Notes: to cop an attitude is to behave rudely. A fair cop is when you acknowledge that you’ve been caught doing wrong.
  • *cop* → *crop*: As in, “Under the microscrope,” and “Scrope out,” and “Cropycat,” and “Carbon cropy.”
  • *crop*: Emphasise the “crop” in certain words to make some corny Thanksgiving puns: acrophobia, microphone, acropolis and outcrop. Notes: Acrophobia is an extreme and irrational fear of heights. An acropolis is a citadel.
  • Cartoon → Cardoon: This is thistle of the sunflower family that is often called an “Artichoke thistle”. It has edible leaves and roots. Example: “Disney has some of the most famous cardoons in the world.”
  • Okay→ Okra: As in “Are you feeling okra?” (Terrible! 😀 By the way, okra is a plant the has edible green pods)
  • Rocket: As well as the obvious definition, “rocket” refers to a type of leafy salad vegetable.
  • Law → Slaw: As in “Slaw and order.” and “I am a slaw abiding citizen.” and “The slaw of diminishing returns.” and “The slaw of the jungle.” You could also use “slaw” to replace “it’s law” – perhaps add a preceding apostrophe like so: ‘slaw
  • A thousand islands: “Thousand Island” is a popular salad dressing. If you can somehow work “thousand island” into your prose, you’ve got yourself a salad pun.
  • Dressing: As in “Oh stop dressing it up!” and “Are you dressing up for Halloween?”
  • Sprout: This is a general term for “to emerge and grow rapidly”, but has obvious vegetable-based connotations (and probably origins). Example: “He thought he’d sprout wings and fly.”
  • Iceberg: A popular type of lettuce, and also (obviously) a big chunk of ice floating in the ocean.
  • Fresh: This is a term that is strongly associated with vegetables and so could probably qualify as a vegetable pun if used in the right context (though it’s a bit of a stretch!). Phrases like “a fresh start” and “a fresh pair of eyes” may be useful.
  • Bulb: As in “Can you change that light bulb for me?”
  • Stalk: “The spy stalked the target for days before getting enough intel.”
  • Pretty good → Rad-ish: When something is “rad” it’s awesome, cool or really good. If something is “rad-ish” then it’s just pretty good (and not overly so).

Vegetable-Related Phrases

Common phrases, idioms and cliches which are related to vegetables can be used for some subtle and witty word play. Here is a list of the vegetable themed phrases that we’ve found so far:

  • as easy as shelling peas
  • as red as beetroot
  • carrot and stick
  • cauliflower ear
  • cool beans
  • cool as a cucumber
  • couch potato
  • sofa spud
  • dangle the carrot
  • (to play) hot potato
  • fine words butter no parsnips
  • full of beans
  • I yam what I yam
  • sprout wings and fly
  • spill the beans
  • know your onions
  • not worth a hill of beans
  • cultivate your garden
  • it ain’t rocket science
  • in a pickle
  • keep your eyes peeled
  • like two peas in a pod
  • he has a green thumb
  • small potatoes
  • separate the wheat from the chaff
  • take a leaf out of my book
  • turn over a new leaf
  • the cream of the crop
  • whatever tickles your pickle
  • you can’t squeeze blood out of a turnip
  • plant a seed of doubt
  • plant the seed
  • seed money / seed capital / seed round
  • the grass is always greener on the other side

Vegetable-Related Words

There are many more puns to be made than could be documented in this Punpedia entry, and so we’ve compiled a list of vegetable-related concepts for you to use when creating your own puns. If you come up with a new pun, please share it in the comments!

Vegetable Jokes

If you’re looking for some very corny vegetable jokes, you’ve come to the right place. All of these one-liner-style vegetable jokes use puns in their punchline. Some are phonetic puns, others are based on a slang phrase or cliche related to vegetables.

  • Why did the cucumber blush? – Because it saw the salad dressing!
  • What do you call an angry pea? – Grump-pea.
  • Why did the potatoes argue? – Because they couldn’t see eye-to-eye.
  • How did the farmer fix his jeans? – With a cabbage patch!
  • Why did the tomato get embarrassed? – Because it saw the chick pea.
  • Which vegetable do Sailors ban from their ships? – Leeks.
  • What did the lettuce say to the celery? – Quit stalking me!
  • What is small, red and whispers? – A hoarse raddish.
  • What is green and goes to summer camp? – A Brussel scout!
  • What do root vegetables wear to bed? – Yammies!
  • What do you call a retired vegetable? – A has-bean.
  • When is a vegetable too fresh? – When he insults the farmer.
  • Why do fungi have to pay double bus fares? – Because they take up too mushroom!
  • What’s the difference between broccoli and boogers? – Kids don’t eat broccoli.
  • Why shouldn’t you tell secrets in a cornfield? – There are too many ears.
  • What’s a vegetable’s favourite martial art? – Carot-e!
  • What’s the coolest vegetable? – A rad-ish!
  • Why did the chef quit? – They cut his celery.
  • What did the sweet potato say to the pumpkin? – I yam what I yam.
  • What does a nosey pepper do? – Gets jalapeno business!
  • How do you fix a broken tomato? – Tomato paste.

Vegetable Pun Images

Below is a collection of vegetable-related visual puns and meme-type images. If you’ve created your own visual vegetable puns or found one that we’ve missed, please post us a link in the comments section 🙂

Did this Punpedia entry help you?

Did you find the vegetable-related pun that you were looking for? If so, great! Otherwise, please let us know what you were looking for in the comments, below! Are you looking for puns for text messages, Facebook, Twitter, Reddit, or some other social media platform? Would you like to see more funny vegetable pun images? Or perhaps you just want more vegetable puns for your photo captions? Whatever the case, please let us know, and help us improve this Punpedia entry. If you’re got any vegetable puns (image or text) that aren’t included in this article, please submit them in the comments and one of our curators will add it as soon as possible. Thanks for visiting Punpedia 🙂

Sours: https://punpedia.org/tag/ranch-dressing/

Top 16 Hidden Pick Up lines

Following is our collection of smooth and dirty Hidden pick up lines and openingszinnen working better than reddit. Include killer Omegle conversation starters and useful chat up lines and comebacks for situations when you are burned, guaranteed to work best as Tinder openers.

  1. Is that a secret microphone hidden in your trunks to fight tax evasion, or are you just pleased to see me?

  2. Want to see my Hidden Skills?

  3. Can you hold something for me

    Sure, what is it

    My hand

    (Romantic saxophone starts playing from a hidden room.)

  4. Hey, I would like to introduce my Crouching Tiger to your Hidden Dragon

  5. Girl, are you a basement

    Cuz I wanna keep some kids hidden inside you

  6. I'm a Shinobi of the Hidden Leaf... but you Baby can call me Hokage.

  7. Are you ranch dressing?

    Because i wanna stick my carrot into your hidden vally

  8. Hey girl are you a Templar?

    Because I’d love to put my hidden blade into you

  9. I don't have a microscope...

    I don't have a microscope to perceive your inner beauty but I'm attracted to you.
    Let's get to know each other and discover the hidden beauty of the heart.

  10. You’re a real hidden Jin.

Funny hidden pickup lines

Are you a Starbucks Refresher? Because you are a hidden gem.

Are you a hidden tesla? Because you are electric.

Hey baby, you wanna see my hidden blade?

Hey girl, breakfast was delicious. No one could have guessed you'd hidden raw liver in my smoothie.

Hay baby, can my patrol enter your Hidden Vally?

Sours: https://www.thepickuplines.net/hidden-pickup-lines.html
  1. Colonial records of south carolina
  2. Golden gate funeral home
  3. Kittens for sale salem ma
  4. Skyrim dragon scale armor
  5. Oval frame for mirror

Ranch Dressing Jokes

Keto is healthy!

*Drinks bottle of Ranch Dressing*

Why was the salad wearing a cowboy outfit?

It was trying out the ranch dressing.

So the waiter asked me what I would like as a side dish...

I told her to recommend me a side dish as I had never been to the restaurant before.

She told me they had curried rice, potato wedges or a supersalad.

I told her I'd like the supersalad. She gave me a strange look and asked me the same question again.

I tell her yes, that I woul...

A joke from my son: "where do horses change their clothes?"

A woman walks into the dry cleaners...

When she gets inside she asks the cleaning lady to get out the stain on her dress.
“Come again?” The cleaning lady says
“No, it’s just ranch dressing this time”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

hillbilly guy is eating at a buffet...

a large lady at the next table is wolfing down chicken wings, dipping them into a soup bowl of ranch dressing and shoving them in, right hand, left hand...

suddenly she grabs her throat and starts eeking out a panicked sound and starts turning purple...

the hillbilly jumps up, shoves h...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A cucumber, a pickle, and a penis at bar...

A cucumber, a pickle, and a penis are sitting at a bar complaining about their lives. The cucumber says, "My life sucks. I'm put in salads, and, to top them off, they pour ranch dressing all over me. My life sucks." The pickle says, "That's nothing compared to my life. I'm put in vinegar and stored ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

So this guy is a fabulous piano player...

And a great singer, too. He's got an audition at the local piano bar. He performs his first song, and the manager is blown away.

"Wow! What's the name of that song?" he asks.

"It's called, 'I fucked your mom on Tuesday last week.'" the man replies.

"Oh, well, can I hear another ...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.

Sours: https://upjoke.com/ranch-dressing-jokes
The Battle of Pickup Lines: Part 1 -- STEVE HARVEY

137 Best Tinder Pick Up Lines That Always Work!

We’ve all been single. It’s a mixture of fun, frustration, excitement, loneliness, and adventure. Sometimes it can be good to be single and play the field to see what’s out there. Other times you wish there were someone to share your nights with and talk about your interests to.

Whether you are old school in your dating or you use social media and online platforms, it’s a similar game to find and attract people of the opposite gender. That’s why we’ve compiled the absolute best Tinder pick up lines that have proven themselves to work time and time again.

Of course, having good material is never a replacement for being good material: Be interested, and be interested in what they have to say. Be able to laugh (especially at yourself). Be respectful. But you know that already, and that all comes later. The first thing, of course, is to get someone’s attention in a way that communicates who you are and makes them interested in that person. That’s where we come in.

Try out the pick up lines below and let us know how they work for you. We hope you can find that they at least break the ice and get a laugh if they are funny or silly.

“I like the bad-boy types. Generally the guy I’m attracted to is the guy in the club with all the tattoos and nail polish. He’s usually the lead singer in a punk band and plays guitar. But my serious boyfriends are relatively clean-cut, nice guys. So it’s strange.” – Megan Fox

Pick Up Tips

Now, let’s get into the exciting part, going through the list of pick up lines that you can use on your new girl or guy crush. First, we’ll provide some tips and tricks on how to write your own creative and unique pick up lines that will represent your true personality.

tinder lines

Be Funny – Almost every one of the pick up lines below is funny in some sort. Most girls or guys respond to humor more than anything else. Finding someone who’s funny is great on many levels: Not only does it indicate you’ll be able to cheer them up, but it suggests you have an ability to laugh at yourself, you don’t take yourself too seriously, you aren’t too stern, and you’re just generally fun to be around. First impressions are usually better when you have a bit of humor in them and remain funny throughout the conversation. Even if you’re not naturally funny, try to think of a funny opening line and remain light hearted. No one wants to go from introduction to a serious conversation.

Be Yourself – This may seem obvious, but there are so many people that aren’t themselves when they initially meet or chat with a woman or guy.  If you’re naturally shy, that’s not a problem, remain confident and make sure that you focus on what makes you, you. You mainly don’t want to project some version of yourself that you can’t deliver: you’ll spend all your energy in the conversation trying to keep up a front, and you won’t be able to enjoy yourself at all.

Be Confident – Every guy and girl is attracted to confident people. Even if you’re not naturally confident, follow the motto of fake it till you make it. Don’t doubt yourself and be confident on who you are, your thoughts, and your interests. This will help you connect with people and let them know a bit about yourself. If you don’t feel confident right away, just remember these words: “Everybody’s faking it.” If you’re nervous or uncertain, it’s more than likely that the other person is just as nervous and uncertain—if not more so! The thing about confidence is that if you fake it long enough, eventually you won’t have to fake it any more.

Be Respectful – Both men and women on Tinder are putting a lot out there—putting themselves in a very public place trying to make a connection. Don’t be a jerk and don’t come on too strong.

Keep it Casual – Lastly, make sure that whatever you talk about, that it remains casual. No one likes to go into a serious conversation right from the start.

Be Persistent – Not every attempt to connect with someone one Tinder is going to pay off. That’s fine. There’s a lot of people out there, and if this person isn’t a good connection, you don’t need to force anything; the next person may be much better for you.

Top Tinder Pick Up Lines

Let’s get into the real meat of why you’re here. Below you’ll find the absolute best pick up lines that you can use on Tinder to meet your next girlfriend, boyfriend, or next hook up. Or maybe the list below will help you think up something original to try out. If that’ sthe case, post it in the comments below, we’d like to hear it—and here whether it worked for you or not!

    • A boy gives a girl 12 roses. 11 real, 1 fa1ke and he says to her ” I will stop loving you when all the roses die”
    • Your beauty rivals the graphics of Call of Duty.
    • You think Ben Franklin tried tying other stuff to a kite before the key thing worked? … Just sitting there strapping waffles to a kite… what an idiot.
    • Your mouth says, ‘Shields up!’ but your eyes say, ‘A hull breach is imminent.’
    • If a guy asks you “have you got the time?” answer, ” if you got the energy”.
    • Do you believe in love at first swipe?
    • If I was your boyfriend I’d never let you go, I can take you places you haven’t ever been before.
    • It’s a good thing that I have my library card. Why? Because I am totally checking you out!!
    • If you could offer a newborn child only one piece of advice, what would it be?
    • I have 4 words for you “Hol I Day Inn”.
    • We’re a match! The next step is to pick a wedding date, right?
    • Sorry it took me so long to respond, I was at Whole Foods trying to figure out what you like for breakfast
    • A MATCH, I NEVER GET MATCHES, HOW ARE YOU, WHERE ARE YOU FROM, DO YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND, I CAN’T WAIT TO TELL ALL MY FRIENDS, I’VE ALREADY TOLD MY PARENTS, I WANT YOU TO MEET THEM THIS WEEKEND.
    • It’s gonna be legend-… wait for it… (And I hope you’re not lactose intolerant because the second half of that word is) DAIRY!
    • Congratulations, you have been voted the hottest girl here, your prize a date with me!

tinder pick up line

    • If you were a triangle, you’d be acute one
    • Are you into fitness?
    • I can’t think of anyone else I’d rather survive a Zombie Apocalypse with.
    • I’m new in town. Could you give me directions to your apartment?
    • Hey girl, I saw you on Tinder
    • I’ve had a crush on you for years
    • Excuse me, did you just fart?
    • How do I tell my dog he was adopted?
    • Rarrr!!!
    • You look like an angel that fell from heaven and hit its face on the pavement.
    • Did something bad happen to you or are you just naturally ugly.
    • Did you know you’re the hottest (insert generic name here- Haley, Rebecca, John, Mike, etc.) on Tinder?
    • Do you peel a banana from the top or bottom?
    • Kiss me if I’m wrong, but isn’t your name Bethesda?
    • Shut the door, turn off the light, I want to be with you

best tinder pick up line

    • Do you have a quarter? My mom told me to call her when I found the woman of my dreams?
    • On a scale of 1 to America, how free are you tonight
    • Forgive my Kirk-like boldness, but you want to go back to my mom’s place and watch ‘Dr. Who’?
    • I’m going to skip the small talk. Top five list of your favorite condiments
    • Single mother of 1? Want to be single mother of 2?
    • Hey what’s going on? Hey what’s going on? Hey what’s going on?
    • Do you want to see my best pick up line? _________________________________
    • Feel my shirt. Know what it’s made of? Boyfriend material.
    • Can I have your picture so I can show Santa what I want for Christmas?
    • You look like a female version of Nicholas Cage
    • I like a man that can fulfill my wishes
    • I’m sure you get this all the time but you look like a mix between Fergie and Jesus
    • Do you drink a lot of Snapple because you look like you’re made from the best stuff on earth?
    • Hey, we’re a match! Does this mean we’re dating now? Give me a second; I need to change my Facebook relationship status.
    • Prettiest smile I’ve seen on Tinder

funny one liner

    • You have a good web-surfing stance.
    • Do you have a job? I need a woman who can support me while I play video games all day.
    • I like pizza
    • You’re really not hot enough to get away with being this boring
    • Hope you like cheesy pick up lines, because if you were a fruit you’d be a fineapple
    • On a scale from 1 to 10 you’re a 9 and I’m the 1 you need
    • Hello. I am a Nigerian Prince and I can make you rich beyond your wildest dreams! I just need your phone number, bank account, and social security number.
    • What’s up Haley what are you up to Sunday night?
    • Do you want me to hit you with a corny pickup line or can we skip that
    • What’s a nice guy like you doing with a body like that?
    • Finally I found a Girl like you
    • How many fingers are too many
    • That rack though
    • Hey, my name’s Microsoft. Can I crash at your place tonight?
    • How you doing? I hope you watch Friends lol

funny tinder pick up

    • Is that the sun coming up or is that just you lightening up my world?
    • I can’t wait to introduce you to my mom
    • I’m a great cook. What kind of food do you like?
    • Do you like ranch dressing?
    • Is the rest of you as pretty as your eyes?
    • If you were a chicken, you’d be impeccable.
    • Is swiping right our first commitment to each other? Am I allowed to swipe right with other girls or is that cheating?
    • Your beauty blinded me; I’m going to need your name and number for insurance reasons.
    • I want to fax you up.
    • Roses are red, violets are blue, and how would you like it if I came home with you?
    • What do girls and noodles have in common?
    • Looks like there was a hit and you sunk my battleship
    • Are you into dragons?
    • Hi, who’s your friend?

tinder funny

    • Tinder brought us together for a reason and that reason is babies.
    • I want you to wear my father’s work suit and take me out to the shed to show me what happens to bad boys
    • Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?
    • You’re so beautiful you made me forget my pick up line.
    • You’re the cutest zombie I’ve ever seen.
    • Are you a post-apocalyptic teenage tribute? Cause you look like you’ve got survival skills.
    • Want to get coffee?
    • I need some answers for my math homework. Quick. What’s your number?
    • Sit on my face
    • Excuse me; I think you have something in your eye. Nope, it’s just a sparkle.
    • That dress would look great on my bedroom floor!
    • I’m currently taking applications for a little spoon position. 1-10, how would you rate your cuddling abilities?
    • Would you prefer to fight 100 duck size horses or 1 horse size duck
    • I have 4% battery remaining. I chose to message you. Did I choose wisely?
    • In a little more than 24 hours… I’m getting married.

tinder pick up

    • Do you think love is real?
    • You’re everything I thought I never wanted in a girl
    • I really like your blanket
    • I’ve had a crush on you for 2 hours.
    • You don’t know how many times I had to swipe left to find you!
    • You’re the mini-cherry on top of the regular cherry on top of the sundae of awesomeness that is my life.
    • You’re so hot you melt the plastic in my underwear.
    • Are you my appendix? Because I don’t understand how you work, but this feeling in my stomach makes me want to take you out
    • Hey, want to get blueberry pie and make out?
    • Listen, I know this profile is fake but can I get the name of the model you used so I can look her up for later tonight?
    • I want our love to be like pi, irrational and never ending.
    • Me without you is like a nerd without braces, A shoe without laces, aSentenceWithoutSpaces.
    • I’d like to see what’s under your Kuiper Belt.
    • My perfect date: I pick you up in my Hyundai Sonata. You get in, there are candles lit in the car. You say, isn’t that dangerous? I say, yes, but I like danger. We go to your favorite restaurant and have a fantastic meal. We come outside to see my car is on fire. You go, Trevor, aren’t you pissed; your car is on fire! I pull out a bag of marshmallows and say nah I knew this was going to happen. Then I kiss you in front of my burning car.
    • If I received a nickel for every time I saw someone as beautiful as you, I’d have five cents.

tinder quote

    • Someone should tell the Old Gods and the New Gods that heaven is missing an angel
    • You may fall from the sky, you may fall from a tree, but the best way to fall… is in love with me.
    • If I were a watermelon, would you spit or swallow my seeds
    • What’s a girl like you doing in a place like this when there’s a Farscape marathon on right now on the Sci Fi channel?
    • You’ll never love yourself half as much as I love you
    • I have been meaning to ask, do you have any experience raising chickens?
    • I Have Raisins How Bout a Date
    • Did you fart? Cuz you blew me away.
    • Hey, just finished 873 pushups, pretty tired.
    • Want to trade pickup lines?? If you were words on a page, you’d be fine print.
    • Let’s get married
    • Burger King isn’t the only thing that is king-sized
    • Do you consider yourself a feminist? Why/why not?
    • I’m really into music so is it ok if I send you song lyrics to help break the ice?
    • Well Tinder says we would make beautiful kids, but I think maybe we should do dinner before we start working on the future models of America.

tinder

  • You’re all I want for Christmas
  • Feel the rhythm! Feel the rhyme! Get on up its tinder time!
  • Baby, if you were words on a page, you’d be what they call fine print.
  • One place you’ve always wanted to visit?
  • Are you a parking ticket? Because you’ve got FINE written all over you.
  • Hey! What kind of music do you listen to?
  • My parents are so excited; they can’t wait to meet you!
  • You must be a small amount of red phosphorus and I must be a tiny wooden stick… Because we’re a match.
  • Lower your expectations and let’s begin
  • Hey gorgeous, will you be my Tinderella?
  • Big spoon or small spoon?
  • Why hello there gorgeous. So when did you decided to grace the human race with such a beautiful face?
  • Allow me to rescue you from your crowd of admirers.
  • I usually go for 8’s but I guess I’ll settle for a 10.
  • It’s like an angel came by and took me to heaven, ’cause when I stare in your eyes it couldn’t be better.
  • When I get sad, I stop being sad. And I am awesome instead. True Story.
  • I lost my number can I borrow yours.

Pick Up Your 2020

‘The times, they are a-changin'” – Bob Dylan

With changing times come new pickup lines, and given that Tinder is as persistent as it’s ever been–if not a smidge more reliable for scoring you that date, what better a place to look at what lines are working? The same rules still apply–be funny, be approachable, be yourself, and be respectful. With more and more people using Tinder to hook up with other like minds, your persistence is only going to matter more. No longer an outlier limited to urban crowds, Tinder is everywhere. You don’t need to rethink your game, but it might be time to step it up.

We’ve got a little bit of funny, a little bit of (endearingly) dorky, and a little bit of loving. Give these a gander, and see if they float with your personality.

  • Thank God I’m wearing gloves, or you’d be too hot to handle.
  • On a scale of 1 to America, how free are you tonight?
  • I know this profile is fake, but can I get the number of the model you used in your pics?
  • You, with all those curves! Me, without any brakes!
  • Can I borrow a quarter? I want to give my mom a call and let her know I met the girl of my dreams.
  • There must be something wrong with my eyes. They seem to be stuck on you!
  • Nothing fixes a bad day, like seeing a pretty girl smile. Will you smile for me?
  • Are you ready to talk, gorgeous? I can only take so much flirting from a distance.
  • I’m curious: what does an angel put on her resume?
  • Today is your lucky day. I’m going to give you the satisfaction of turning me down. Go ahead. I dare you.
  • Who says men don’t ask for directions? Because I need help; I’m getting lost in your eyes.
  • Are you an ideal amount of red phosphorous? I’m a wooden stick. Looks like we’re a match!
  • If you were a triangle, you’d be acute one.
  • Titanic. That’s my icebreaker. What’s up?
  • Phew! I almost swiped left and had a heart attack. Saved at the last minute!
  • Your natural beauty radiates from my iPhone. I instantly acquired a tan from the warm heavenly glow. Brb, applying aloe vera.
  • Quick: The Notebook or Sleepless in Seattle?
  • I hope you don’t mind cheesy pick-up lines, because if you were a fruit, you’d be a fineapple.

Let us know if you have any other pick up lines that you’ve heard. These can be good ones (ones that have worked for or on you) that you would like to add to the list. Or they can be horrible ones that you don’t know what the person was thinking. Sometimes, we can learn more from what one person has done wrong than for one a hundred people have done right.

Leave a comment below with your funniest or most successful one liner. We look forward to reading them! And good luck out there on the Tinder scene!

Sours: https://appamatix.com/137-best-tinder-pick-up-lines-always-work/

Lines up ranch pick dressing

Everything was captured on the video: she just got up, lifted my head, put it between her legs and went to sleep further, but already across the bed. At the same time, her eyes were closed, because when shooting with an infrared camera, open eyes gleam. It turns out that she did not even wake up.

The wife was shocked, began to rummage through the notes and look for a familiar psychotherapist. But I calmed her down, and we decided to conduct another experiment: once again shoot our night, but despite the fact that she already.

An easy guide to EPIC salads » + 3 recipes

Well, what's wrong with that. Well, the child wanted coffee. You were joking about the complaint, daughter.

You will also be interested:

Only now he gently hugged me and whispered "Thank you" in my ear. Naturally, after that I had other men, but I never met anyone better than my brother. Five years have passed since then, we realized that we love each other, but we try not to advertise our relationship, because our relatives.

May not understand us. We are satisfied.



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